


Just One Word

by Zombie_in_a_box



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:31:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3461057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zombie_in_a_box/pseuds/Zombie_in_a_box
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa was feeling sick for a while now, but dismissed it as a simple flu. Finally, Iwaizumi decides he won't be taking that any more - this is how Oikawa ends up in a hospital, where the news that will probably destroy his happiness are delivered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just one word, and the whole world collapses

“Dammit!“ Was he really that useless? Oikawa’s eyes closed in momentary pain, causing him to miss yet another ball. It was not a good time to be sick. Therefore, he wasn’t sick. 

“Let’s take a break, everyone.” The captain’s voice rang throughout the hall, bringing both relief and pressure to Oikawa. He couldn’t believe he was missing so many balls – he was a failure, he was a failure. Just a glance of Iwaizumi getting closer made him sick to the stomach. 

Without saying a word, the teen ran off to the bathroom. This had to be at least the fifth time he’d puked today. He wasn’t doing it on purpose, that he knew for sure… He never had problems with his weight up until now – in the past few weeks, he lost nearly ten pounds. He was constantly pale, he felt weaker with every day. Must’ve been some flu.

“Oi, Oikawa.” It was just his name, but he couldn’t help the flinch. Wiping his mouth as he flushed the toilet, Tooru walked out with a smile on his face. “Ah, sorry, Iwa-chan~” He looked at the older teen with a faint hope that he could slip away somehow, again.

“You have to go home.” Iwaizumi muttered as he stepped closer, the distance between them barely a few inches. Though Oikawa was taller, right now it didn’t seem so. The usually cheerful guy looked as if all life was sucked out from him.

“What’re you talking about? I feel fine; I just ate something bad, probably…” They both knew it wasn’t true, however Oikawa wanted to believe that.

“Then go home and puke there all you want. If you caught something, I don’t want the rest of the team getting it too…” Iwaizumi trailed off with a sigh, resting his hands on his hips. “Really, are you okay?”

Oikawa just smiled, nodding in response. He wasn’t. He needed help. But… How could he? He was a failure, after all.

“I’ll come by your house today. Just get better, alright?” A smile curled at Iwaizumi’s lips as he patted the other’s shoulder and left, just like that. These days, Oikawa felt like such a goddamn burden…

With defeated eyes, he went to shower and switch to his usual clothes. Honestly, not so long ago he was good. He was the best, god dammit… Then all this puking and stomach pain started, first faint, and now way worse. For how long this has even been going on, he couldn’t tell. He just knew that it was interfering with his volleyball practice, and that he absolutely hated.

After getting back home, Tooru didn’t even waste time eating. He would puke everything out later either way… He took a big glass of water instead, along with some medication that was supposed to ease his nauseousness. 

A few hours later, he heard Iwaizumi’s voice from downstairs. Oh, so he really came… And yet, he couldn’t even bring himself to get off of his bed. The brunet turned his head away so he would be facing the wall as his friend’s steps got closer to his room.

“Oikawa?” To that, the said teen just made some noise which was supposedly meant to be a ‘come in’.

He heard the door open and close, then someone sitting down next to him. Along with that, a quiet sigh left the other’s lips. “God, Oikawa, go see a doctor.”

Tooru shook his head, closing his eyes as a warm hand was placed on his hip. “Please.” He knew it was uncommon for Iwaizumi to sound so… Desperate. It was weird, almost.

“I’ll be fine, it’s just the flu…” Oikawa muttered with his eyes closed. The hand on his hip was beginning to feel incredibly hot, as if it was burning through his pants. He hadn’t even changed clothing when he got home. He didn’t have the strength to do so.

“I can see your ribs. That’s not healthy, Oikawa.” To that, Tooru couldn’t even answer in any way. He was weak. He didn’t even deserve to be cared for.

“I’m fine…” He barely whispered, while his friend sighed yet again.

“You’re not.” Iwaizumi’s voice was firm, as always, but with that hint of warmth as well. That emotion, that honesty, it had Tooru on the edge of crying. Boy, whatever this was, it was really messing with his head.

The hand that was on hip moved to his hair instead, lightly stroking it for a while. Iwaizumi always knew what to do to make him feel better, at least when they were alone. Oikawa’s breaths finally evened out, calming down as well. He despised making Iwaizumi worried like this, but he craved for that attention. 

Like this, he fell asleep. In the morning, his mother told him she’d scheduled a doctor appointment for him before school. He wasn’t too happy to hear it, but he was fairly certain that Iwaizumi had something to do with it either way. Well, maybe he could finally hear what was wrong and continue with his life.

The ride in his mother’s car was always really stiff. She never played any music, there weren’t any conversations except for how he was doing in school. So, the twenty-minute long trip with three minutes of conversation was one hundred percent sure awkward.

Tooru hated hospitals. He hated the smell, he hated the white everywhere. They should make hospitals more colorful…

He had at least a dozen tests, each one making him a little bit more tired. He wasn’t even sure what was going on anymore. All he wanted was to be in bed, somewhere soft and comfortable. 

Where he ended up was nowhere near.

Where he ended up was one word.

Cancer.


	2. My Ray of Sunshine

Out of all people, how could _he_ have cancer? It was impossible. And honestly, it scared the shit out of him.

Oikawa didn’t have the guts to tell anyone, though. Not even Iwaizumi. It was fairly easy not to talk about it when he didn’t see anyone for days. The teen spent all of his time in his room, barely eating anything, just sinking deeper into the gloomy darkness.

His mom told him a few times that Iwaizumi came by to see him, but he always refused it. Just as he refused any treatment for his cancer. When he learned it was already stage three, he felt as if all hope was lost. What was the point of painful medication if he would die anyway?

Thoughts like that kept him company all day long. Oikawa ignored all text messages and calls, stuffing his phone away into his closet. He didn’t want to see anyone. Honestly, the whole cancer thing took quite a big toll on him.

He could see his mother begging him to have treatment, but he just didn’t see the point. He had cancer. Goddamn stomach cancer – the doctors said that most often, people above fifty-five got it. He was too young to get this… He was too young to die, and yet, he didn’t see the point in living.

He hadn’t shown up in school for a week, spending most of his time in bed, doing nothing. His mother tried feeding him some soup, yet he felt full. Apparently, that was possibly from the tumor growing too big and filling up the bigger part of his stomach. At some point, he found the thought hilarious – that was exactly how Iwaizumi, after refusing to leave the house until he saw Oikawa, saw him.

Pathetic, useless, good for nothing. Oikawa could only think of this by now. When the door opened, he was laying on his bed, tears one after another rolling down his cheeks as he laughed. He looked as if he was downright crazy!

“Oi…” Iwaizumi’s voice felt like the sharpest sword at the moment. Oikawa didn’t move a muscle, staring up at the ceiling above with an empty gaze. “Stupid.” Iwaizumi sighed out, brushing a hand through his hair as he walked closer and attempted to lift Oikawa up, the latter’s eyes going wide as he resisted. 

“Get your hands off me!” Oikawa nearly screamed, slapping his friend’s hands away rather harshly. With his cheeks still wet from the tears, he appeared like a hurt animal.

Iwaizumi was definitely surprised to see such a side of Tooru. For a moment he seemed confused, then irritation set in. “Tooru…” He muttered, Oikawa’s body getting stiff. Oh, fuck. Iwaizumi never used his given name… 

“You gonna let some goddamn tumor take your life? As if.” Iwaizumi scowled, flicking the other’s forehead with a groan. “I knew you were dumb, but this dumb, I really didn’t think you were, Trashykawa.” Iwaizumi said firmly, patting his shoulder with a serious expression on his face as Oikawa sat there, unable to get even one word out.

“Stupid.” Iwaizumi muttered out just a little bit more affectionately as he plopped down on the bed next to his friend, awkwardly wrapping an arm around him. “L-Look,” Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to stutter, “You gotta get back to school and get your treatment. I’m not about to let you die, you got me?” Iwaizumi smiled slightly, his touches hesitant and extremely awkward.

Still, they put Oikawa into a somewhat better mood. “Iwa-chan is so caring about me~” He grinned, although his eyes were filling up with tears. His lower lip began trembling while the tears began rolling down his cheeks and he began bawling, leaving Iwaizumi with no clue about what to do now. 

And boy, Oikawa did not look pretty when he cried, at least not when he cried like this. Finally, Iwaizumi managed to pull him closer, staring through the window with the “I’m going to kill this guy when he stops” kind of expression. He wasn’t too good with such affectionate touching…

“You about done?” Iwaizumi asked a little bit carefully. Oikawa had a death grip on his shirt as he nodded, a low whine leaving his mouth. Sighing heavily, Iwaizumi started patting the teen’s hair hesitantly. Gently stroking it, the older teen leaned against the wall, closing his eyes for a moment. “Really though, they’ll treat it. You’ll be fine and then you’ll have to come back and play volleyball with us again. We have to win against Karasuno, you know?” Iwaizumi’s face graced with a rare smile while Oikawa just nodded tiredly, although the other couldn’t see it.

“Err… You boys need anything?” Oikawa’s mom’s voice came hesitantly from the doorstep, Oikawa himself immediately pulling away with flushed cheeks. “We’re good.” He muttered out, his voice cracking the slightest bit.

Oikawa glanced up at his friend like a beaten puppy when his mother left, which was bound to make Iwaizumi feel uncomfortable – although that wasn’t the reason he did it.

“Iwa-chan, will you visit me in the hospital if I have to stay there?” Oikawa asked, getting an annoyed huff in response, along with a flick to his forehead, again. This time, the receiver grabbed onto his forehead with a pout, acting his usual self at last. “That was mean!”

Seeing Tooru like that sparked some kind of warmth inside Iwaizumi’s chest. He honestly didn’t know what he would do if he lost this guy. “I should go back home, my dad’s probably worried.” However, as he attempted to stand up from the bed, he was stopped by a hand gripping onto his shirt.

“Stay tonight, please?” Oikawa asked quietly, a small frown on his face. “I’ll lend you some clothes, and my mom will drive you to school tomorrow morning.” He offered with hopeful eyes, and then flashed a smile – the biggest part of it was real, the other was still forced out. Iwaizumi was sure to notice it, but hopefully, he wouldn’t mention it.

With another sigh coming from his mouth, Iwaizumi agreed a bit hesitantly and lightly pushed Oikawa down on his bed. “Stupid.” He muttered out one last time before placing his hands on his hips. “I hope you’ll have some clothes my size, else I’m going to kill you in your sleep.”

At these words, for the first time in a week at least, a genuinely happy smile flashed on Oikawa’s face and he hopped off of the bed to find some clothes. 

Oikawa Tooru was confirmed to be the biggest puppy known to man. That Iwaizumi was certain of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, thank you for reading, again! I hope you all enjoy this fic, as I am enjoying it so far :>


	3. Have you ever kissed?

Oikawa literally jumped around Iwaizumi, questioning if there was anything he wanted. For him, it seemed like it had been years since they last had a sleepover.

“I’m fine, I have everything, now stop acting like your mother.” Iwaizumi sighed as he pushed the other down, earning a disappointed look.

“So mean, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa whined softly, moving closer to him before glancing at the TV – they were watching one of his many alien movies. “You could be nicer to me now that… You know.” Oikawa was avoiding the word ‘cancer’ in any kind of situation, as if that would make it disappear somehow.

“Idiot.” That seemed to be the only thing Iwaizumi replied with, however in a few moments, he awkwardly brought an arm around the younger teen’s shoulders. “You really are annoying, you know that?” The raven muttered quietly, leaning against the pillows with a soft sigh.

Oikawa, on the other hand, was a little bit stunned. He hadn’t expected for Iwaizumi to be so soft… Not that he didn’t like it. Oikawa smiled as he snuggled up closer, for once enjoying the closeness they shared. Sure, in these situations he often wished he’d confessed some time ago.

Truthfully, Tooru had a sort-of crush on the other since their first meeting. He said ‘I love you’ so many times jokingly, it honestly lost its meaning.

“Hey, Iwa-chan, have you ever kissed someone?” Oikawa asked with a grin, playfully nudging his side. The question earned him a jab to his back and an embarrassed mumble.

“What was that?” Tooru teased, laughing with a wide smile. “Could it be Iwa-chan has never been kissed?” He pretended to be shocked, which just earned him a slap over his head. In the end, he didn’t get a proper answer – and yet he knew perfectly well what it would be.

“Do you wanna kiss me?” Oikawa asked with a wink, sticking out his tongue. Iwaizumi hadn’t said a single word for a while, so Tooru was getting a little uneasy… “Iwa-chan?” He called out with a raised eyebrow, trying to look at his face.

When he finally did manage to catch a glimpse, it was clear why the other was hiding his face. His cheeks and ears were as red as the stop sign, so he seemed extremely flustered. Oikawa laughed softly, poking at his sides.

“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, you’re so cute!” He laughed, soon with tears as he was hit, again. That didn’t stop him from chuckling all evening, however. Learning that his best friend hadn’t kissed anyone was pretty fun, but seeing him this embarrassed was even better!

The two of them ended up watching a bunch of movies together, Oikawa cuddled up close in his friend’s arms. The two of them had some sort of a bond, after all. After that many years of friendship, it was certain that they would be able to spend an evening like this without too many embarrassing moments.

Although Iwaizumi did fall on him when he was trying to go to the bathroom, nearly crushing him – that was sort of embarrassing. Especially since his ass ended up on Oikawa’s face… 

At the end, the two of them slept on the floor. Oikawa may be an asshole most of the time, but since he was little, he refused to sleep in the bed if someone had to sleep on the floor. It was either he slept alone on the floor with the other person in his bed, the both of them on the floor or the both of them in bed. Iwaizumi always refused sleeping in one bed, saying that it would be too cramped.

“Iwa-chan, thank you.” Oikawa muttered out softly, just before his eyelids closed and he drifted off into deep slumber. Iwaizumi ended up staring at the brunet with a somewhat longing expression on his face. “Idiot.”

The soft mutter was the last thing in their room before Iwaizumi turned off the lights. He laid back down next to his friend, his eyebrows scrunching up together as he lightly poked Oikawa to make sure he was asleep.

Slowly, he leaned closer, just pressing their lips together. He just wanted to see how it felt… After finding that he liked how soft they felt against his own, Iwaizumi let out a satisfied smile and turned on the other side, closing his eyes as well.

Meanwhile Oikawa was wide-eyed, his whole face burning up. This evening was a disaster… He did not expect this at all. Oh, he so shouldn’t have pretended to be asleep! He could be with Iwa-chan… Could be sleeping in his arms instead of laying on the cold floor.

Life was unfair, in all possible ways, it seemed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking this long! School got in my way, along with a new puppy <3 Hopefully I can post the next chapter next week!


	4. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

_Cold._ There was only this word to describe what was around him. Each step he took felt painful, as if he was stepping into snow while completely naked. Perhaps he was?

Everything around him was white… Except for him. Although he wasn’t _he_. He didn’t have a form. Although he was able to take steps, he couldn’t see his legs, raising his hands to his eyes didn’t seem to make any difference either.

Why the hell was he so tired? 

His muscles gave out as he fell into the white nothing. He never reached the end of it – all this time, he felt as if he was floating. His eyelids became too heavy to keep open and he wasn’t going to fight this. The white nothing took over his whole body and soon enough he felt as if he was made out of clouds. 

_Not for long, though._

The white nothing turned into burning darkness and his spine was being pierced by a million red hot knives. He tried to scream, but it was impossible. His limbs were being pulled off slowly, leaving him in unbearable pain that didn’t seem to be ending. 

“ _Oikawa?_ ” Someone was calling his name, but there wasn’t anyone in this burning darkness. No one but him, suffering like never before. 

The pain began disappearing from his fingertips and toes, slowly moving to only one spot – his stomach. By the time it was focused in that one spot, he felt as if his stomach was burning inside of him. 

Suddenly waking up, Oikawa clenched tightly onto his stomach, feeling as if he was about to puke out not only what was inside, but the stomach itself. 

“Oi, are you okay?” Iwaizumi’s voice finally reached him, yet before actually turning to his friend, the brunet attempted to at least make his expression less terrified. “I had a nightmare, sorry I woke you, Iwa-chan~” His voice, though he attempted to sound normal, was hoarse. Only then did he realize there were dried tears on his face. 

“…Are you sure?” Iwaizumi questioned, but didn’t push it any more when Oikawa nodded, with his usual cheerful smile. 

The two of them decided to go back to sleep, seeing as it was still very early in the morning… Well, Iwaizumi did. The moment Oikawa got a chance he hurried off to the bathroom to, at last, throw up. He felt as if there was lava inside his stomach, he _had_ to get it out. 

One finger inside, the teen closed his eyes as he attempted to make himself vomit. He failed at first, just gagging without anything actually coming out. The feeling inside his stomach was getting worse with each second. 

He wanted to reach down and tear out the whole thing. 

As tears spilled from his eyes once more, the brunet pushed another finger towards his throat, his back shaking violently. Why did it look so easy in movies? 

Close to giving up, the teen began pulling his fingers out, scrapping the skin the slightest bit – with that, he felt acid rising up. Both relieved and extremely stressed, Oikawa was finally able to puke. 

The burning just increased. God, it still felt like his stomach was on fire… 

“Tooru?” This time, it was his mother’s voice. The said male quickly wiped his eyes and flushed down the toilet, just before the woman came in. Even if her son tried to act like everything was okay, she could always see when it wasn’t. 

“Oh, sweetie…” She muttered softly, the two words sinking deep into Oikawa, his bottled up emotions all suddenly bursting out into surface. He was never pretty when he cried, especially not this time. In his mother’s arms, the teen cried as if it was his last day alive, as if this was his last chance to even be with her. 

In the other room, a lone figure was sitting on the floor, shoulders barely shaking. He could really be a coward sometimes, huh? 

Iwaizumi had heard his friend get up, he even heard him throw up… He couldn’t bring himself to stand up and go after him, he couldn’t bring himself to stand up and stop him. He couldn’t bring himself to be a good friend… He wouldn’t be able to bring himself to acting as always in a hospital where Oikawa could die. 

That night, Oikawa wasn’t the only one who fell asleep crying. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking this long! School got in the way, along with some personal issues... I should be able to update more frequently from now!


	5. The First Night

Oh god, he hated the color white so much. And the pillow was so uncomfortable, couldn‘t the people here at least try to make their patients comfortable?

He wasn‘t even going to start with the food. It was like someone puked out some sort of bland, disgusting thing and then decided to put it into plates for patients to eat. Horrible!

The brunet let out what was probably the millionth sigh that night. His mom drove him here first thing in the morning after talking with him throughout the night. He didn‘t want to go to sleep, so...

At some point, Iwaizumi joined them. Oikawa noted his friend‘s different behavior but decided not to mention it. It seemed like it was harder for Iwaizumi to get through this than for the one who actually had cancer. Why? He had no idea.

Either way, he was supposed to start chemo today. After talking with his doctor, Oikawa decided that the best way was to first go with chemo and then get surgery. Everything had its risks, but... Maybe he wanted to live for at least some time.

“Can I come in?” This had to be the best part of the day yet. It was Iwaizumi, finally…

“Yeah~” Oikawa called out, beaming his friend a smile when his head showed from the doorway. The teen smiled back awkwardly, entering the room.

“So, uh… How are you feeling? I-uh…” Iwaizumi took off the backpack, shuffling through it while looking flustered. “I, err, I brought you these.” Oikawa’s eyes lit up when he saw a bunch of magazines about space, along with various thoughts about aliens.

“Iwa-chan knows just what I need, hm?” The brunet joked with a wide smile, setting the magazines away on the nightstand for the time being. “Thanks for coming, anyway.” He added, his smile gaining a barely noticeable hint of sadness, which, of course, didn’t manage to slip past Iwaizumi’s eyes. He may have been awkward as hell, but at least he could say he knew Oikawa quite well.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine.” Iwaizumi felt himself say, but by now those words didn’t feel like words… Weird. He said those exact words to himself so many times the previous night they didn’t feel real anymore.

Oikawa’s laugh ended the silence while Iwaizumi sat there, dumbfounded. Did he say something wrong? That wasn’t supposed to be funny.

“S-Sorry, Iwa-chan, but coming from you they sound so weird!” Oikawa chuckled, soon getting a light punch over his head. Pretending it hurt, the brunet puffed out his cheeks, holding onto the place he was hit on. “Mean!!“

Like this, the two of them spent their time until a doctor came over to take Oikawa into chemo. The said teen said goodbye to his friend, seeing as visiting hours would be over once he was done and he didn‘t want anyone with him when he sat in a room full of people with cancer like him.

Iwaizumi only muttered out a quiet goodbye and left the room as well. Guess he better head home... 

Meanwhile, Oikawa was getting a little bit more than slightly nervous. He would start his first round of chemo; it was somewhat special, after all. Scary, but still special.

The nurse told him to sit down on one of those weird blue armchairs and advised to look away if he was scared of needles – which he was. The teen glanced away, flinching when a needle pierced his skin. Seriously, there had to be a better way to get the medicine into his body.

And now, he just had to sit and wait. With a sigh, Oikawa silently cursed himself for not grabbing one of the magazines and just grabbed the first one he saw. Great, a fashion magazine!

Hey, he was practically a model himself, he could allow himself to enjoy some of this. The brunet leaned back against the armchair, adoring both the models and their clothes. Well, guess now he wouldn’t appear in these pages…

Or perhaps someday, if he lived. He could die here, and that thought honestly terrified him. He could actually die here… Anything could happen. There could be complications during surgery, or it just wouldn’t work out. Or… Or the cancer would come back later.

The fear was really settling in the more he thought about it. He must’ve shown it on the outside, as a girl his age reached out to poke his shoulder. “Hey, what’s up?” She beamed him a smile, to which Oikawa managed a grin. A loose one, but still.

“Oh, you know, just battling cancer. Nothing unusual.” He attempted to joke, although horribly. Still, the girl laughed… Which actually felt good.

“I’m Jamie, what’s your name?” She asked, holding out her hand. Oikawa smiled, shaking it with a small smile lighting up on his face.

“Oikawa, Oikawa Tooru.” The girl blinked a few times, seemingly confused. 

“Err… So which one is your name and which one is your surname?” She asked, her embarrassment showing everywhere.

“Tooru is my given name.” Oikawa explained with a chuckle, looking at her with a smile pulling at the side of his lips. “How come you don’t know that? I mean… You speak fluently, but you don’t know which goes first?” He asked as Jamie grew more and more embarrassed.

“I… I forgot, okay? My mom just brought me here because my dad lives here. She says it’ll be easier to take care of me here, for whatever reason.” She explained with a small pout, to which Oikawa responded with his usual wink and a stuck out tongue.

“Alright, I get ya~” He grinned, looking around. Well, now he wouldn’t feel as alone, at least. “So… What do you have?” He asked quietly, as if not wanting to bring it up. But at the same time, it was the thing he wanted to ask the most.

“Blood cancer, stage one. You?” She asked, lightly tapping her hip.

“Stomach, stage three.” He muttered out quietly, looking down with a small frown. Only silence followed afterwards, Neither of them knew what to say.

Finally the chemo was over and he was told to go back to his room. Oikawa most certainly wasn’t in the mood to argue, so he just agreed and shuffled back with a nurse leading him by his arm.

Getting into the bed used to be a blessing, but these beds were horrible. Well, if he was laying alone in them, anyway.

The nurse checked his vitals and everything like that before finally leaving him. He thought he would just sleep, but…

“Damn, I thought she’d never leave.” Oikawa’s eyes shot open and he sat up, looking at the corner from where the voice came from.

“Iwa-chan?” He asked in disbelief, shock written all over his face as his friend got closer.

“Hey.” The teen smiled stiffly and sat down on the bed, looking at the other. “I, err… I thought I’d stay, you know. For the first night…”

Alright, he had the best friend a man could ask for, Oikawa decided. The best one there could be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooo sorry for this being late! Lots of things piled up and I didn't have a chance to finish up writing ;___; I hope you enjoyed though!


	6. Chapter 6

There are those blissful nights when no bad dreams come. There are those nights where everything lasts just a second, you close your eyes, open them again and it's morning. There are those nights when you wake up sweaty, ready to scream because of what you saw. Because of what your mind made you see. 

For Tooru, it was one of those nights. Even with Hajime's arms wrapped tightly around him, he woke abruptly, with a terrifying image still standing right in front of his eyes. His heart was beating out of his chest, tears springing from his eyes. He knew... No, he didn't know it wasn't real. He should've realized that but he didn't. The dream was so realistic, he wasn't even sure he was awake yet. 

"Tooru?..." A sleepy voice called for him, and just like that, half of his fear was brushed away, yet the sadness took over quickly. His cold fingers dug into the other's arm, feeling as if his chest was being squeezed from all sides. Oikawa couldn't get himself to respond. The tears that had just been threatening to burst slowly began rolling down his cheeks. The bed sheets shuffled and soon he was completely engulfed into a hug, desperately clinging onto the warm body beside him.

"I'm here, it's all okay now." Iwaizumi whispered, while Oikawa sobbed quietly into his shoulder. Before the two of them could actually do anything, the door opened and a nurse stepped in.

"Are you alright? Your heart rate-..." She stopped dead in her tracks, staring at her patient with another person in his bed. "Who are you?" She asked, and in that moment, Iwaizumi knew he was fucked in all ways possible. 

"I'm, uh... He... I..." He struggled to find some explanation, the right words which would tell why he was here instead of home. Needless to say, he was forced out of the hospital, left to wait for someone to pick him up. He wasn't as worried about what would happen to him as he was worried about whether Oikawa would be alright without him. He seemed pretty shaken up.

The said teen was still trying to collect himself as the nurse danced around him, checking his vitals, asking if there was anything he wanted. The one thing he wanted was just forced out of the room.

"Honestly, what were you thinking? It can be so dangerous to have someone around while you're on chemo. I can't believe he managed to get in," The nurse complained before turning to face Oikawa. "I'll tell your mother about this. God, this kind of irresponsibility is _unbelievable_."

"He just wanted to help," Tooru finally said, brushing away the remnants of the tears from his eyes and cheeks. "He cares about me, he-..." Tooru took in a deep breath, unconsciously gripping onto the bed sheets hard enough for his knuckles to turn white, "He didn't want me to spend the night here alone." 

The nurse raised an eyebrow at him, scoffing quietly. "That's no excuse to breaking the rules. Was he the reason your heart rate was so high?" She asked, her arms crossed over her chest. Oikawa shook his head, his fingers slowly relaxing.

"I had a bad dream."

After that, he refused to say anything else. Even when his mother came, he stayed silent. It became even worse when Iwaizumi didn't show. Oikawa had to endure another round of chemo without any sign from Iwaizumi. He couldn't count how many times he texted and called, but he was unable to get to him at all. At first he was angry. Then he was sad. At the end of the day, he became increasingly worried. Did something happen? Even his mother seemed confused as to why her son's best friend disappeared like that. Worst thing? He didn't come to school either.

* * *

Third day of chemotherapy. Oikawa was in denial that Iwaizumi just left. He didn't, he couldn't have. Oikawa was getting worse and worse with each day. Chemotherapy, although it helped shrink his cancer, had a huge toll on his mental state and his body. Even in such a short period, his skin was getting grayer, the bags underneath his eyes were as dark as ever, and his hands never really felt warm. He was losing motivation to do things again, without Hajime next to him, urging him to pick up a book, a magazine, do his homework, without him being there he couldn't do shit.

Someone knocked at the door. Oikawa turned to his side, his back turned to the door. Whoever it was, he didn't care. 

"Shittykawa, won't you say hi?" Oikawa's eyes flew open, a stupid grin spreading across his face as he sat up, ready to, first of all, tell Iwaizumi how much he'd missed him and then scold him, but his smile disappeared in moments. 

"What the fuck happened to you?" Oikawa's voice was but a hoarse whisper. Who could blame him, though? Sure, it was Iwa, it really was him, but god... He looked worse than Tooru himself. His lips stretched out into an apologetic smile, the cut on his bottom lip seemingly close to bleeding. His right cheek was swollen, clearly from being punched, hard. Hajime had definitely taken a beating... 

The two of them could only look at one another, Tooru with absolute horror on his face, while Hajime looked guilty. What the hell happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! A year, a friggin year has passed and I come back. Boom. As always, kudos are appreciated, comments even more so! Tell me what you want next, I'll be sure to take it into consideration <3


	7. Chapter 7

Oikawa's lip trembled. It always did right before he cried - Iwaizumi knew that better than anyone. Oikawa turned away, purposely keeping his eyes away from his friend. Maybe he was just imagining it? That could happen, right?.. Or maybe this was another bad dream. Those never left him free these days. One after another, they always filled his nights, and in the end he always woke up without feeling rested. That, combined with his cancer made him look like he'd been through hell and back - just as Iwaizumi.

"Please look at me." Iwaizumi's voice had never sounded so pleading. It only made Oikawa squeeze his eyes shut, his knuckles white from gripping the bed sheets so tightly. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. "Oi-... _Tooru._ " Iwaizumi stepped closer, while Oikawa covered his eyes with both hands.

"I don't want to see you." Oikawa whispered. He couldn't see him, not when he was like that. He couldn't bear to look at that face. To know that someone hurt him... It was probably his fault. "Who..." Oikawa choked up, his fingertips digging into his delicate skin. It seemed Iwaizumi understood what he intended to ask, however. It wasn't that hard to guess.

"Who did it?" Iwaizumi finished his question, the smallest of smiles on his face. He walked up to the other, gingerly placing a hand over his thigh only to have it pushed off rather desperately. "He just panicked that I got home so late... You know how he can be." Iwaizumi's voice was quiet, like he wanted to hide any emotion, but they'd been friends for too long for that to work. Tooru recognized everything - the fear, the pain, the guilt and even bits of anger. 

"It's my fault." Oikawa muttered, slowly moving his ice cold hands from his face, his eyes watery. "You stayed for _me_." He said, staring right in front of him with a dead gaze. Iwaizumi's dad had always been dangerous. Oikawa never liked him.

"That's not true and you know it. I wanted to stay. Just look at what happens when I'm not around!" Iwaizumi scolded lightly, shaking his head as he leaned back against the hospital chair. He wanted to get the conversation from him to Tooru as quickly as possible. "Have you done anything while I was gone? I bet you haven't. You're too lazy, you need me around to even pick up a pen." The teen sighed, reaching out to ruffle up Oikawa's hair, however, to his horror, with that motion clumps of brown locks stayed on his hand. "I-..."

Oikawa froze up. Slowly lifting a trembling hand up, he let his fingers brush against the top of his head, feeling the skin where hair was just seconds ago. His dead gaze was replaced by a terrified one. Already? It was happening already?! A quiet hiccup parted his blueish lips, although before he could actually start crying, he was pulled into a tight, warm hug. He pressed his forehead into Iwaizumi's shoulder, his arms wrapped desperately around him as tears began rolling down his cheeks. He was so scared. He couldn't believe this was real. He didn't want to believe. He wanted to wake up and find that this whole cancer thing was just another one of his nightmares. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to lose Iwaizumi... He didn't want Iwaizumi to lose him, either.

Iwaizumi was never good with loss. As a kid he had a puppy - the cutest golden lab. It would always greet him, and sometimes Oikawa, when he got home. Until one day it didn't. Iwaizumi was completely and utterly devastated by that. He never really got around to forgetting about him, nor forgiving his father. It took him a few months to learn that, but apparently, his dad hit the poor creature with his car one night when he was drunk. Iwaizumi's hatred for the man grew ever since. He was the one who deserved cancer, not Oikawa. There were times when he thought about how good it would be if he was dead. 

Although Oikawa couldn't see it, Iwaizumi felt just as much pain as him, maybe even more. As if the physical pain wasn't enough, seeing the one he loved suffering just made it worse. He slowly stroked his back, waiting for him to calm down almost like a mother would with a child. Truth be told, he often felt that way. Somehow he was always the one calming Oikawa down. That isn't to say that Oikawa didn't care for Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi simply knew how to hide his worries a lot better.

Oikawa took a while to calm down. During that time, his mother showed up, leaving without a single word after seeing Iwaizumi in the room as well. Her son needed his friend. These days she just wasn't enough. Iwaizumi wasn't sure how long he would be able to keep this up, however. After the first few minutes he himself felt like crying. 

"I'm scared." Oikawa whispered, his voice broken, like one of a lost child. Iwaizumi pulled back, a light smile on his face, the cut beginning to bleed again.

"I'll be here with you from now on. I promise." He said, gently taking Oikawa's hands into his own, warming them up. Oikawa leaned close, pressing his forehead into the other's shoulder. "If you start crying again I'll hit you." Iwaizumi murmured, although playfully. "It's just hair. It'll grow back. If it'll make you feel better, I'll shave mine off too." Oikawa's gaze shot up, his already reddish eyes watering again.

"You're the best, Iwa." He finally managed a smile, even if it was through tears. 

The two of them ended up, first of all, getting rid of the falling out hair, with Oikawa finally deciding that he didn't want for Iwaizumi to shave his head for him. At least one of them had to have hair.

The happiness seemed fake, though. Oikawa's gaze would skim over the bruises and cuts on his friend's face from time to time while fear and sadness clawed at his heart. He loved Iwaizumi. He couldn't bear to even think about a life without him, but with his father still being in his life... Who knew how long until the two of them were torn apart. Oikawa's thoughts and worries clouded over his judgement.

Oikawa reached up while Iwaizumi was talking about the new training for their volleyball team. Tugging weakly on his collar, the teen pulled him down. Iwaizumi, for once, seemed confused. That is, right until he realized what Oikawa wanted to do. Seeing him close his eyes, his lips, ones that he'd already kissed one, get closer, he hesitated. He hesitated long enough for Oikawa to stop. 

"Sorry." Oikawa apologized quietly, his fingers loosening, hand dropping onto the bed sheets. Neither of them spoke of what he clearly intended to do. It was a mistake, wasn't it? Oikawa couldn't focus properly anymore. They talked about something... He didn't even know what. He just knew that it felt really, really awkward to be with Iwaizumi this close to him.

At some point it was time for Iwaizumi to leave. Oikawa didn't expect anything, maybe a quick 'goodbye', but instead he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder, and, soon enough, a pair of soft, warm lips on his forehead. "I'll be back tomorrow." Iwaizumi's words echoed in his mind, bringing out an honest, yet small smile from Oikawa.

"I'll be waiting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gasp* Can it really be? Did I really update again? I sure did!!!!!! Hope you enjoyed >:)


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